Thanks for the email Matt. We love to hear from your readers. It makes me feel like we are actually providing a service to all of you guys out there.

I read your article and stepped out of my office. I went for a bite to eat and went for a walk. I needed some time to be able to think about what to tell you. I wanted to make sure that the advice was solid. My first reaction was to tell you to tell her to stop giving you oral for awhile. Maybe she would take down a bit when she wasn't doing it all the time. That didn't make much sense to me. If she is sucking too hard now, she will suck with more force if she hasn't done it for a long time. Chances are she thinks that she is pleasing you. Maybe a past lover enjoyed being sucked so hard. I know some men brag about how hard their women can suck.

You need to make sure that you are able to talk freely in the bedroom. This is a must. If you can't talk in the bedroom, chances are you can't talk about anything in your relationship. Communication is very important in a relationship. If you don't talk, it won't last. She is more than a vagina, she should be your best friend. You wake up to this woman every day, you should be able to enjoy her. If you can't, I would say that it isn't worth the amount of time that you invest in her. That is a sad thing, but it is true.

First, I would suggest to you that you evaluate your communication. If you think it is good, then move on from there. If it isn't, then you need to have a conversation about it. You need to tell her that you need to be able to speak your mind. There is no need to be in a relationship that you can't discuss your feelings. If you feel that you are able to be open with her. Tell her that she is hurting you. Don't be full of anger when you tell her. Tell her nicely. She will react in a positive manner. There is no reason to open a can of whip ass on her.

This is what I would do.

Start off with a nice dinner. Cook it yourself if you know how to cook. Set the mood, buy some candles and incense. Make the meal as romantic as you can. Cook things that you can feed each other. Fix oysters or finger sandwiches. Take her up to the room for some great sex. Tell her that you want to tell her what to do. Make it like a role playing game. If she sucks on you too hard, tell her that she is sucking too hard. Tell her that it hurts and to suck more gently. She will do it if you tell her nicely.

During this time, tell her nicely that she was sucking on you too hard. Be gentle and tell her how you like it. Tell her if you like your balls rubbed while she is doing it. Allow yourself to enjoy what she is doing to you. Get loose, if it feels good moan. If she hears you moaning, she will know to keep it up. That will be her signal that she is doing a good job. As always, try to keep a free and open line for communication. There is no reason not to. If either of you aren't being pleased in bed, you should be able to say something about it. If you don't, well Matt, get used to having a sore penis.

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